Day 30 – My Favorite Ice Cream

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Photo Credit: Wikimedia

My favorite ice cream is Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. But I have a confession to make. Although I do like ice cream, it’s really all about the cookie dough. I love cookie dough ALMOST as much as salmon. It’s just that I can’t come around to justifying it as an actual food. So Cookie Dough ice cream, for me, is just a good excuse to eat cookie dough.

That’s my story, anyway.

Linking up with the 31 Day Blog Challenge at Fabulous Finds by Tiffany.

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Day 28 – Guilty Pleasures

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My Butterfly World

My guilty pleasure is playing games on my iPhone. I know it might be a waste of time, but as John Lennon said “Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” I think I like it because it makes my brain stop racing around to give it a little break.

Some of the games I play are fairly mindless, such as the current game I’m playing (thanks to Cynthia), Flutter. Flutter is all about collecting and raising butterflies. While you play, you are treated to soothing meditation music and ambient forest sounds. It is a lovely little hiatus from reality.

When I want to work my brain a bit, I love to do a Sudoko puzzle, or play card games such as Spades or Hearts. And of course, there’s Words With Friends. I went through a long Angry Bird stage, but I got burned out. I loved those obnoxious green pigs, though. I’m sure I’ll visit them again soon.

What is your guilty pleasure?

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Day 24 – My Most Embarrassing Moment

I’ve been having a bit of hard time coming up with something to tell you all about besides all the millions of times I’ve said something embarrassing. I’m already embarrassed enough for saying stupid things in the first place, I’m sure as hell not going to repeat them here.

I know there are many times I’ve made a complete fool out of myself — I’m sure my kids could come up with a few (hundred) examples. But right now, the only thing I can think of is when I was waiting tables at Denny’s some 25 years or so ago, and the hideous polyester wrap-around skirt I had to wear came unbuttoned, so I went around with my whole backside showing for God only knows how long until some very nice (and equally embarrassed) older man pointed it out to me. To this day, I remember the underwear I was wearing, which may be the reason I insist on always having on pretty underwear. Hmmm … this is the first time I’ve ever made that connection.

And now I’ve surely embarrassed my kids. Again.

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Day 17: Why & When Did I Start Blogging?

Today’s prompt for the 31 Day Blog Challenge is, “Why and when did you start blogging?” It has taken me the better part of the day to figure out how to answer, as I couldn’t really remember when, and I’m still not sure why, but here’s the best I can come up with:

WHEN was pretty easy to figure out. All I had to do was look it up. I started blogging in 2007.

WHY, you ask?

Well, to be honest, it was pretty much on a whim. Before Facebook — or at least before us old folks out of school discovered Facebook –a couple of my friends had blogs as a way to keep in touch with family & friends. As an aspiring writer, I wanted to see what it felt like to put my words out there in cyberspace. It felt … well, unremarkable. Very few people read it, blogging was still pretty new (to me), so I didn’t know how to get more readers, nor did I know if I truly wanted to. Anything I wrote about seemed dull and silly. Why would anyone want to read it?

So, my blog sat lonely and virtually worldless for about a year, until I discovered a podcast called Will Write for Wine (I blogged about it here) which gave birth to an online community of writers that I became a part of. We had an online forum where we talked to each other about writing and wine. A bunch of the women in the group had blogs, which sparked my interest in blogging once again. That’s about when I discovered that blogging could be a way to make a little extra cash, which intrigued me, but at the time, I was running a small business, raising two kids, and writing my first novel (which to this day is still not published, but that’s another post). To say the least, my plate was full, and I put the idea on the back burner. For the last few years, my posts have been sporatic at best. The boys continued grow, the economy eventually saw the death of our business, and our lives went through several more twists, turns and loopy loops.

So now, here we are. At the beginning of this year, I had a pretty stern talking to myself. All my life, I’ve said I was going to be a writer. And yet, I didn’t write. The reasons were many — fear, laziness, disorganization, procrastination & self-doubt, to name a few. So I told myself that either I had to admit I didn’t really want to be a writer, or I had to get off my ass and … WRITE. The thought of not writing — of completely giving up any notion of eventually publishing my novel — soaked me in depression. I couldn’t imagine giving up that dream.

So I thought, how about blogging? Just to stretch my writing muscles and find my voice again. I could maybe do that. That is, if I could remember my WordPress password.

Then the Universe plopped this challenge into my lap, and I knew …

It was time.

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Day 16 – My Biggest Accomplishment

I’m feeling a little burnt out today, so for today’s prompt, I’ll keep it short and sweet:

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These guys? They’re my sons. They have both grown up to be kind, compassionate, thoughful and incredibly creative young men, and although I can’t take all the credit, I like to think I just had a little part of that. No other thing that I ever do in my life will ever live up to that accomplishment in my mind.

That’s all for today.

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Day 13 – Regrets

I adopted the idea of “No Regrets” early on in my life, in that I’ve tried not to regret any decisions or mistakes I’ve made, because I truly believe all of those things are what have brought me to the place I am now, and I may not know some of the people I love and cherish.

However, there is one thing I do find that I regret now and then, and that is not taking every opportunity to tell the people in my life how special they are and how grateful I am to have them in my life. Even after learning time and time again that our time here with each other on earth can be cut short in an instant, I still struggle to slow down and remember to say, “You matter to me. I’m so grateful for you. I love you.” Because in the end, what’s more important than the relationships we’ve had, the bonds we have formed and love that we’ve shared?

I can’t think of a thing.

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Day 12 – Something I Miss

With the boys at Ocean Journey (now the Denver Aquarium)

With the boys at Ocean Journey (now the Denver Aquarium)

Cold and snowy mornings like this make me nostalgic, which makes me think of the time passing, and how much I miss my boys when they were little.

Yes, I’ve become one of those tiresome old ladies, the ones who used to make me cringe, stopping to admire every baby in every stroller and shopping cart, and telling the mother with circles under her sleep-deprived eyes to hold on tight to them while they are little. I sound like a sappy country song when I tell her that someday she will miss these times. But the cliche’ is true — time just whizzes by so flipping fast.

I miss how my older son looked with his binkie and his stuffed Big Bird and his sleepy eyes just before it was time to go to bed. I miss how he used to have to listen to Kenny Loggins to get to sleep every night. I miss him toddling into my room and climbing into bed with us in the wee hours of the morning to snuggle, putting his cold feet on my legs and asking to watch Rugrats on Nick Jr. I miss how he used to call our dog, Kodiak, “Kodi-Quack”. I miss him kicking the soccer ball against the shed in the backyard over and over and over again.

I miss how my younger son used to talk himself to sleep. It was as if he had to verbalize everything going on his brain before he could settle down to sleep.  I miss how he used to hug me and tell me I was “the best mom ever”. I miss the little stuffed dogs he would carry around everywhere – Tony and Fred. I’m not sure if I even know where they are anymore. I miss his obsession with numbers, and proudly telling everyone who would listen that he was three years old, which meant he was “odd” and “prime” (I used to get a lot of strange looks). I miss his imaginary friend, Yohooty, and how Yohooty would always get into trouble coloring on the walls.

I miss how everything used to be a wonder to them. I miss reading to them at night. I miss carpooling. I miss the soccer games. Every. Single. Weekend.

My boys are big now — 19 and almost 16. I know that someday I will miss these teenage years, and I try my best to slow down and take note of each milestone. But parenthood is a bittersweet journey at best. You spend so much time worrying and fretting and hoping that you can make it through the day without completely losing your shit and causing them to need therapy all their lives — only to wake up one morning and pass by an empty, clean bedroom, not knowing whether to feel sad that there’s no longer a little boy sleeping with his Big Bird in there anymore, or happy that you raised him well enough to be able to be out finding his own way.

Most days, I’m happy and grateful that I’ve managed to get this far. But sometimes I miss Big Bird, Tony and Fred.

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